So Much Confusion in my Head

I am bi-polar ... or something ...

I'm just feeling ambivalent about this whole thing ... I just don't know what to do.  Here is what I know:

1    I love to make stuff
2    I don't want to do Etsy
3    I don't want to do an antique booth
4    I'm not even overly thrilled about a craft show
5    I have confidence issues
6    I love to make stuff

I'm in a do loop.

Am I lazy?  Do I just not want to do this 24/7 (which I cannot cauz I have a 40-hr week job already).  Maybe that's the problem ... I don't feel like I have enough TIME to be doing this.  Time I don't want to take from my husband -- we actually enjoy each other. 

To do this right I would really need to give up my evenings and work in the studio every nite (was just reading a blog that a woman was in her studio creating in the middle of the nite--yikes!), would need to give alot of weekend time to creating .... coincidentally those are the times we are together!  He doesn't mind me working down there at all ... but we do like to spend time together, so what would be the balance?  I don't know.

The IDEAL situation would be me being able to do this job PART TIME .... even one day a week off would give me an entire day to work in the studio!  But that is NOT going to happen.  And I can't leave this job -- I do love it, and I make good money and we need that extra $$$ for the lifestyle we've become accustom.

And WHAT IF I do create a truckload of inventory, build displays, etc. for the ONE show I'm going to do NEXT November .... what if it's not for me?  What I don't sell enough to even cover the show cost ($50)?  What if I see it's "too much work" .... then I will have a truckload of creations, show displays built .... and stored in my basement for the rest of my life?

AND I'm 10 years from retirement.