Back to Square One

<sigh>

I infuriate myself.

So Saturday I went to another craft show in a school gym .... it was in one of the more affluent school districts ... and what a disappointment.  Maybe 30 booths.  There was ONE that I liked their set up and could use the ideas in my booth.

BUT ... I am back to NOT wanting to do this.  No craft show ... no antique booth ... no Etsy.  I guess I just don't want it bad enough.

I can't justify any of it .... making 275 pieces of art for one show, making a booth display for one show, buying business cards for one show, a banner for one show.

The truth is I will not make any money (which granted has never been my goal).

I think my biggest issue is feeling like I HAVE to use my studio ... I have built it, filled it, spent ALOT of money on it.  Have nothing to show for it.  I think that's my problem.  I feel like I SHOULD be making making making and selling selling selling. 

Maybe that's not what it has to be about.  Maybe I need to take a deep breath and say "I go down there to create with NO goal in mind."

And so the war w/ myself continues ............