Loss

We found out yesterday that my ex-husband was found dead that morning.  He had not been ill, simply died in his sleep.

So many emotions .... we have been divorced for almost 15 years, but have two beautiful daughters.  The void in their hearts and lives is more than I can bear.  They are in so much pain right now and my heart just breaks for them.

He was an amazing father to my girls, and I will be eternally grateful for that.  He was always there for them and they knew without a doubt they were #1 in his life....always.  He loved our only granddaughter, she was an absolute joy to him.  His last nite on this earth he had spent w/ her so her parents could go out to dinner. 

He will be missed. 

Camp Aftermath

So here's a summary of my trip to Brave Girl Camp ...

·        This camp is the brainchild of Melody Ross and her sister, Cathy Wilkins.  Melody has been thru so much crap in her life (personal AND business) and she is the perfect person to be running this.  She’s emotional, creative and passionate.  Cathy is the calming force and the one that makes Melody’s ‘dreams’ become a reality.  She’s also one of the cooks for the camps!!

·        24 women converged on this camp.  All walks of life, all different places in their life.  Oldest was 65 and youngest was an 18 year old niece of a woman (who attended also) that had given her the trip for a graduation present.  Most were in their 40’s and 50’s.

·        It was not what I expected.  I expected the touchy feely stuff, etc., but not to the extent it was.  The goal of the camp is to help women heal from past hurts, move fwd, find their voice, empower them to live life on a new level.  The ‘red carpet’ is a safe place to dump it … we were told that nothing leaves this area.

·        Was not prepared for the level of HURT and PAIN in these women’s lives.  They just laid it all out there, looking for a way to move passed it and heal.  I had never experienced anything like that.

·        As I texted my sisters on Thursday morning after a particularly brutal ‘share’ time …. We are so incredibly blessed to have had such a carefree safe secure childhood.  So many women in this group had lousy childhoods, had bad memories of their fathers (emotionally absent, etc) and mothers that didn’t meet their basic needs … I don’t know that there was one woman in the group that didn’t have some issue from CHILDHOOD.  If the worst thing we experienced was that Mom wouldn't let us have a DingDong whenever we wanted, then we are waaay ahead of most of the world!  LOL

·        Food was amazing … we didn’t want for anything.   We had lunch and dinner in Melody’s house.   I cleaned the Art Barn frig out of Diet Pepsi more than once (I had another woman that was hitting it hard w/ me and we laughed about it)  There were snacks and drinks (non-alcoholic)  available to us the entire time we were in the Art Barn (the location for the ‘red carpet sessions’ and the art sessions)

·        I want an Art Barn

·        So am I happy I went?  Not ‘thrilled’ I guess … I did enjoy it, and I did enjoy meeting the women.  They were sincere and lovely people – and thankfully I found a kindred spirit that had the same sense of humor as I did – we were assigned seating for art portions (due to having so many supplies to leave laid out for the week) and she was seated by me.  She was a lot of fun (and what probably saved the trip for me!)

·        Yes there is always one person that is off-the-charts annoying in any group of women.  And this group had TWO.  By the end of the week I really had hit my saturation point w/ both of them.

·        I would not go back – but only because it really wasn’t what I was looking for.  It was invaluable to those women that needed that safe place to share and heal …. And I would very much recommend it to a woman that is trying to overcome obstacles in her life that she just cannot climb above.  It is a very safe place.

·        Worth the money?  For me … no.  Again … for some women it was worth every penny.

·        The art portions were not what I expected either.  I had hoped Melody would be sharing new techniques and actively participating in the art sessions.  (she’s a great artist!)  However, it was clear that art sessions were only for ‘therapy’.  She gave prompts that we were suppose to use as a spring board to get going in the creative process.  She actually left the barn during those times, wasn’t looking at anyone’s work, etc.  I believe she did that so that no one would think they were under any kind of pressure to create a certain way, and she wouldn’t be commenting on ANYONE’s art, making someone else possibly feel sub-par because she didn’t comment on theirs.  Our art was OURS alone.

·        My takeaways ... my life is blessed beyond measure.  My past is what has formed me into who I am today.  I own my mistakes wholly and I have learned from them and moved fwd, which is why I had nothing to share.  I don’t let them rule my life, they are NOT who I am today, which is why I had nothing to share.  I am okay (that is stunning, as I never thought I was ok! LOL).  Hmmmmm I guess I did get something from this after all, eh?  LOL

 

Did I mention I want an Art Barn?!!?!?

Giddy Giddy Giddy - BGC Here I Come!

I am packed. In a carry-on.

This is monumental because I'm a heavy packer. I want options ... always. But the Brave Girls Camp isn't a fancy event ... just 4 days of art and fun ... so I didn't "need" a lot of stuff. And among all the 'nice' t-shirts and capris I only packed TWO pair of sandals ... now THAT is progress!

I'm very excited for this adventure!! It's only been 2 months of waiting ... and finally here! I checked the BGC website and they have uploaded BIOs for the students that will be there with me. I started to read them and said "NO ... I will print these off, memorize them on the plane, and pick my BFF for the week." (I pity the girl).

Tomorrow we fly out at 7:00 am ... husband is flying as far as MSP w/ me and then he is headed to Alaska to visit his son for 10 days.

Weather forecast for Boise: 90's and sunny
Weather forecast for Anchorage: 50's and rain, then 80's and sunny

And here's to being Brave.

And .... It Is Over (insert exhale)

So I only sold $96 (I had over $500 to sell) … but got plenty of affirmation … I had many many positive comments, and had about 3 women that absolutely LOVED my work, were amazed that I had made all of it, and kept coming back to look (yes they did buy)!   ... And my SquareReader worked!! (yeah it's the small victories)

What I DO know is I do NOT want to do the craft show circuit. This stuff will go w/ LW to the flea market … and she’s doing a couple of local markets this summer.  (I might do a couple of those w/ her—but I will wear TENNIS SHOES!  I'm not known for my choice of shoes sometimes!!!)

Lousy pic ... I'll upload the CAMERA pics tomorrow.  My phone sux.  LOL

I do feel alot better about my work.  Affirmation from total strangers is a great gauge of your talent.  Family HAS to tell you it's good ... LOL LOL ... my friends would ONLY tell me it's good ... LOL  But now people that don't know me liked my work, and that goes a long way in the confidence department!

So ... I am so so glad it's over.  I'm glad I did it ... now I know what that venue feels like!

Now what's the NEXT project?!?!?  LOL

I think I will go back to doing a few re-purposed wood projects for LW to take w/ her ... she's out of the shabby chic frames w/ wire.  She said those went really well, so I have a few more frames to work with in my inventory.

I have some boxes I can re-purpose ... I have seen some that have been done w/ mixed media, so I might 'get crazy' and try that ... I do love that I have alot of different projects I CAN do ...  variety is the spice of life, eh? 

Today's the Day

Happy Cinco de Mayo .... the Ladies Nite Vendor Show is here finally!  Husband's car is packed (mine is too small and CUTE to house all this stuff!!), I have $100 change in small bills, a SquareReader ....

I'm so excited to see if anyone likes my stuff!!  LOL LOL

Mixed Media w/ GrandGirl

A couple weeks ago we had all the grandkids, sans one, at the house and Grandpa had a project that was boy oriented.  We have 3 little boys about the same age there ... and one granddaughter that was a year younger than them, but not really interested in doing a BOY project.  So I said "E come in here w/ me..."

I quickly sanded the rough edges off a small piece of pallet wood, propped her on a stool in the studio and discussed with her the concept of mixed media.  I brought over some paints, some scrapbook papers and some stamps ... and she began ......

Chatting to me the whole time!  So very cute .... I gave her a very sharp pair of scissors and told her "you have to be very very careful or your momma will kill me!"  She was very careful.  No fingers lost in the making of this artwork.

She cut out the houses and the roofs, and had me cut out the hearts and the clouds, etc cauz those were a little too tedious for her, but she painted the grass and the sky like a champ ... with her finger .... just like Grandma does!

She drew some windows, doors and put sunshine rays on the sun, then finished by stamping her name in the middle of the houses .... I gave it a quick poly spray and she was done!

I loved finally doing mixed media w/ SOMEONE in my family that can truly appreciate it.  Even if she's just a 5 year old .... she IS an artist .... and we made some memories that day.

The Goods are Finished!

So I am officially DONE w/ everything I wanted to take to Cinco de Mayo Ladies Nite on 5 May.  Here are some pics:

 Just one of these -- it's about 2 feet long ... 

 Vintage Advertisement signs -- some have hooks and some don't

 1" wooden magnets 

(made w/ gelli plate prints and sticker letters)

 3x3 chunkyArt

(made about 26 various)

7x7 and 5x5 woodArt

(my absolute fav piece I made is the grey house/yellow background)

I guess I'm happy with how they turned out ... like I said in the previous post, this ended up not being very much fun because of a mass production and deadline ... but my daughters and several friends have told me it's all great and should sell out!  (ha)

When I have the booth set up that nite I will make sure to take pics of the layout and post them.